Love Is Real, But So Is Romance Fraud

Love Is Real, But So Is Romance Fraud

TRUST THE PERSON, NOT THE PROFILE

If you find love online … you might lose more than your heart.

Scan the QR code to help look after #CyberYou this Valentine’s Month.

Love and protect your data during this month of love and beyond.

Our lives take place online now more than ever before. On social media, chat apps and dating apps – we’re connecting with other people, for different reasons, across the miles in new and different ways.

One of those reasons is to find our perfect partner. But while many of us are cyber-smart – we’ve wised-up to scams and phishing emails to get us to part with our money or personal data – we may not be so familiar with what cyber security experts call ‘romance fraud.’

This is the name given to the criminal activity that involves creating a fake identity to enter a relationship with a victim – sometimes known as ‘catfishing’ – to steal funds, personal information, or both.

The criminal does this by using email, dating apps, online games and so on, typically targeting younger or much older people, or lonely individuals, and gaining their trust. They then go in for the steal. While some fraud cases are authored by one individual, others have been exposed as larger operations, overseen by organised criminal gangs, such as this one in South Africa from 2021.

And the problem is getting worse. In the UK, the National Fraud and Cyber Crime Reporting Centre revealed that in 2022, almost £92 million [US$110 million] had been lost through dating scams. And the FBI in the United States reported a huge US$1 billion in losses by victims of romance fraud in 2021, with the likelihood that many more went unreported.

That’s the bad news. But the good news is we can each take action to make sure we’re not conned – an especially timely message in this season of love.

You can help yourself and others, and here’s how:

  • Be cautious and vigilant of any odd signs or anything that makes you feel uncomfortable or suspicious
  • Does your online “date” only ever contact you via text or chat, never willing to do a video call or meet in person? This is a definite red flag
  • Do they promise to meet you but cancel or offer excuses every time? These can be signs there’s something awry.
  • Do they say they have a medical or other emergency that they need you to help them pay for? Very often it’s about an ailing family member with a terminal illness
  • Maybe they ask a lot of personal questions about you but avoid answering any such questions about themselves.
  • They may ask you not to tell anyone about your relationship or suggest you lie to your family and friends
  • They may ask you for financial help and say that you sending them money is proof that you love them

Expert advice when you are talking to someone new online is:

  • Don’t share your personal details
  • Don’t send or receive money, no matter how convincing someone’s story might be
  • Only use the most trustworthy dating websites
  • Trust your instincts. If something feels off, it usually is

For further guidance and hands-on help, download this family guide and make sure CyberYou stays cyber safe this month and beyond.

If you think you’ve been a victim of a romance scam, contact your bank immediately (if transfers are involved) and report the incident to the police. You should also change all your online passwords as they may have been compromised, and apply multi-factor authentication to your devices or apps.

You should also report the incident to the South African Fraud Prevention Service (SAFPS) on 011 867 2234 – especially if you have been a victim of identity theft.

You can get emotional support through the South African Depression and Anxiety Group (SADAG) on 0800 567 567, or through therapists and counsellors in private practice.

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